Bear with me, and let me preface by telling you a few parts of my day ...
I realized that as I walked around work I thought of statements I might blog, (similar to how I always think of captions for my photos, for those of you who know me!). Sadly, one statement that came to mind today was, "I am feeling a sense of disappointment [frustration? defeat?] with every step I take." What?! Did I just think that? True- it is hard to ignore my slow pace or pain every few steps, but DEFEAT? C'mon now. Lighten up, Louie.
Then, checking my (personal) email at work (shh!) I received today's dictionary.com 'Word of the Day': Abnegate which, has a second definition of "to relinquish; give up." You might think in my original state of rut, I would have thought, Gee, how fitting! But, I looked at that and asked myself, is that what I'm doing? Of course not. But where did I fall on the scale from frustration to giving up?
At some point my new boss came by and mentioned my knee. He said, "Aren't you some kind of super-jock?" Ha! I may not fall in that category, but there's few sports I won't try. I had to laugh at this rep I didn't realize I had at work...
I eventually left work and headed for PT, and as I hobbled to the front door, I saw a girl being dropped off with immobilizer on her leg and crutches under arm. "When was your surgery?" I asked. "Yesterday..." she said. Ahhh... I remember being there, and the pain just to stand. I felt for her as I held the door and helped her meet her trainer- my good friend, Drew.
A few exercises into my routine, another girl asked me how far along I was, as she was 3 weeks out. "Your scar looks great!!" she told me... Well, that was awfully kind of her!
OK, ok, ok... enough with the stories. I am not sure when, but at some point in the day, negativity started to crumble from my mentality, little by little. I now found myself in my (currently) dreaded position: being asked to 'walk the runway' for the trainer. Despite my hopes, I did not miraculously shake the limp. But this time I was not barked at on how to fix my gait either, which was refreshing. So it came to the next question... Now what?
I confronted Drew about the whisperings of tendonitis from last session. He would not (and I guess, could not) officially tell me I have it, as that is my doctor's call. However, when asked, he said, "You definitely [catch/pause] maybe have tendonitis." Enough said. He said around 10% of people get it (I'll have to research...) and that it's not that anything was done wrong, that it just sometimes happens. I could ask a million questions- did he push me too hard? Did I take my PT at home too seriously? Did I work through pain I thought was normal, but it was over-use? No matter- I now have direction that "if it hurts, don't do it." I'm going to bend that and say, if it feels good, do it! - which I thought a a nicer tone to it!
So for now, that's exactly what I'll do. At PT we continue to do ultrasound in the area of my patellar tendon (which I read, is a way to treat tendonitis) and ice is rubbed directly on my skin near the incision instead of a wrapped ice pack after PT. Other than that, the only way to 'treat' tendonitis is rest, only do the exercises which don't pain that area, and be patient. Isn't it ironic that being patient is the fastest road to recovery? :)
Week 4 Post-Op Pics
When flexing both legs it appears I'm getting some of my left quad back, but looks can be deceiving. While the 'definition' is starting to show a *little*, it's awfully soft in comparison!
The incision is healing nicely, and I am sure to massage it whenever I think to, which will help loosen the skin (as it's still quite stuck in place) and break up scar tissue beneath it.
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