Back to Reality [7+ Months Post-Op]

Between the whirlwind weekends and evenings, and the shorter days which make me want to crawl into bed at 7pm, I'm sorry that I've been away from the blog so long... So here I am, reporting for blogging duty!

The fun news is that life is mostly back to normal, and now that I've a few more indoor soccer games under my belt (and yes, since you asked, I scored a goal last night! hehe) I see I am still timid, but getting a little better with each game in respect to my knee. Unrelated to my knee, I could definitely use some more skills when the ball is at my feet!

Ultimate frisbee is still going strong on most weekends, and that plus soccer is pretty much the sum of my activity. Although one exception was my halloween costume, which ironically is based on a SNL character whose signature move is lunging. I was more than proud to show off my 'Superstar' moves to anyone who asked! But halloween aside, I willingly admit that I have not been focusing on my knee like I should, and I hope to change that -- after Thanksgiving!

Day-to-day activities (including stairs) feel good, and even lunging or squatting while on the BOSU don't seem to induce any pain in my knee. The one movement I can think of which does bring on a twinge of pain is when I am standing on only my surgical leg and I do a one-legged hop. If the knee doesn't bend much, there is little to no pain. However, if I try to bend more to get lower to the ground and then push off and try to repeat this motion a few more times, there is definitely an uncomfortable feeling. I wonder if this is directly related to my patellar tendon (which is what was used to reconstruct my ACL)? I would guess yes.

Lastly, the 'popping' in the kneecap when going from straightened to slightly bent has been happening less and less with time. Typically when it DOES happen, it is just the once and I can't recreate the popping again right away. I think more muscle work on my quad would help eliminate this noise/feeling-- we shall see!

I'd like to say: I consider anyone who's been through, going through, or will be going through this whole ACL mess is a SUPERSTAR! :)

Typical Recovery Period? Check. [6 Months Post-Op]

6 months have passed since I went under Dr. Shapiro's knife, and I'm delighted to have this blog to go back and remember some of those specifics that are so easily forgotten as the 'light at the end of the tunnel' comes into view. I've now gotten back to try some of my fave sports (soccer, ultimate frisbee) which was my ultimate goal. Soon indoor soccer will start up, and perhaps I can even sub on some volleyball teams this winter... But more importantly, I've made it through the 'typical' 6 month recovery, and have reached some other goals:

• Walking without a limp
• Running (not rumping!)
• Reaching pre-surgical leg strength (using 1-leg press as a judge)
• Gaining most (but not all - yet!) of my quad muscle mass back
• I've got back my entire Range of Motion (ROM) with the exception of a little hyperextension (Dr. S said it's not necessary to get this back anyhow...)
• My balance and control is comparable to pre-surgery, just lacking a bit still
• For the most part, I have 'forgotten' about the knee and can enjoy my normal lifestyle!! Yippee!

Some other items of note:

• There is still some numbness to the outside of where the incision was made, but seems to be reduced
• Kneeling (think: yoga) is an odd sensation (probably due to partial numbness) which I believe my mind tricks me into thinking is painful, but it really isn't too bad, just uncomfortable
• On days after lots of activity my NON-surgical leg is sometimes sore, suggesting I still overcompensate
• I typically don't feel a difference as I go down stairs anymore, but on the aforementioned 'sore' days, that old feeling creeps back in a little

I must admit, I've gotten a little lazy in my "workouts" and it doesn't help that I don't belong to a gym. I am hoping that returning to some sports and having my BOSU ball at home in these cold/dark evenings will keep me moving and hopefully motivate me to have some level of 'rehab' at home as winter sets in!

For Wendy (who 'rumped' for the first time yesterday at 5 weeks post-op!) and Bill, who went under the knife this morning -- Keep your eye on the prize! It will be worth it in the end!

For anyone else who finds or reads my blog- I hope it's useful and if you ever want to 'comment', I'm happy to give you my take on the "ACL Journey", or just hear how you're doing or about your experience!

My next goal still remains: Indoor soccer with my beloved Hooligans!!

I Bit the (BOSU) Bullet... [20.5 Weeks Post-Op]

Time to step it up a notch.

The money I would have been spending on PT should be going towards a gym membership or equipment or something along those lines, but I just hadn't pulled the trigger... until now! I decided a BOSU ball would be a good purchase since I'd used it before in PT, and my therapist, Drew, also confirmed it's a good tool for rehab. Not to mention, it helped to get rave reviews from fellow blogger, Andrew, and also my friend Chris who has done some of his pre-med work with ACL rehabers. And BOSU isn't just good for balance and PT, but there are tons of exercises to be done on it which help all kinds of muscle groups. My arms and abs should be very, very afraid...

My dilemma was to decide if I should buy the consumer model or the commercial model. For about the same price I could get consumer +4 DVDs, or commercial +1 DVD. (See the difference HERE). In the end, I went with the consumer one, because while I'm all about getting a more 'durable' product, I will never put it through the use that a gym would if it was used for daily classes, etc. I hope I don't regret this decision!

Picking Up the Pace [6 Weeks, 1 Day Post-Op]

A lot can happen in a week, and now that the pain in the area of my patellar tendon is nearly gone, I am gaining back confidence in my leg and certain motions I avoided before. Throughout the holiday weekend I was on my feet a lot and also took part in 8+ hours in the car (total) which was probably the toughest part! Weekend activities included hanging out on the dock, but I was wise enough to skip the swim to the water trampoline! Saturday the ladies of the group hit up the putt-putt course... Does that mean I can claim I'm playing sports again? :)

The last few sessions of PT have me improving by leaps and bounds, being able to do exercises I haven't touched since pre-surgery therapy. This includes more challenging balancing exercises, squats, and adding more weight (or resistance) to previous exercises. I am up to 90# on the one-leg press; I am confident I could do more, but am trying to only gradually increase the weight.

Going down stairs is getting much easier, partially due to trust in my leg and the exercises in PT that have helped me break the mindset that my leg will give out if I put the opposite one down on the next stair first. There is still some favoring going on, but it's much improved.

Otherwise, my focus has been to get my walk to normalize, and I know I am capable, but the thing most often holding me back is habit, and maybe the *littlest* tweak of pain in some motions. They said I was not letting my leg extend all the way as I worked through my gait, but I am shaking that habit. Today there was proof of this, since in PT I was put on the treadmill for ~5 minutes and Drew kept bumping it up until I was at a speed-walking pace. At first I was hesitant and favoring my surgical leg. As I eased myself into it and realized the pain that's held me back in the past was not showing itself, I was able to get a normal stride.

My big event of the day was my first attempt at running!! Drew was there to push the 'speed up' button on the treadmill until I finally couldn't speed-walk any more. I'm the first to admit, the run was not pretty (by any means), but I think, again, it was habit and a mental block more than anything, which kept me from evening it out. I didn't run long - perhaps 1 minute, but when I haven't done anything (but putt-putt) since my surgery 6+ weeks ago, 1 minute of running was plenty for me to see where I stand today!

In PT there are 2 other young ladies I see often, I believe 1 week and 4 weeks behind me (same procedure and Doc...). They were both there today, and it's hard for me not to look at them and compare myself in the way of progress. Two of us seem roughly the same, but the girl who's at 2 weeks (versus my 6 weeks) was ALSO on a treadmill today (albeit at a slower pace and a more obvious limp...). But I'm blown away by this girl's progress and have so many questions - What did I do wrong? Why isn't she in as much pain as I was? How is she asking questions like "Can I ride my bike now?" when at 2 weeks that was the last thing I wanted to do? I remind myself that everyone truly has their own schedule. I make sure to congratulate her on her progress, because we all can use words of encouragement as we work down the winding road of recovery!!

6 Week Post-Op Pics

My range of motion (ROM) is "very good" and while I still undergo forced bending in PT, the focus has turned to building the muscle back up via my exercises

Muscle mass is slowly coming back, as the exercises which flexed my quad had hurt my patellar tendon in the past, and now (I hope!) I am past that!

[I also had one of the trainers tell me that if my right thigh wasn't so muscular, I wouldn't have so much work to do to catch up!] :)

The incision is healing nicely, and it seems to be loosening a bit, but I still have a ways to go until the skin move freely over top of my knee.

Learning to Walk Again [18 Days Post-Op]

In my second visit to PT (which was 3 days post-op) I was already being challenged to put weight on my surgical leg and try to 'walk' across the PT room. I remember thinking how ridiculous that was, because I was so unsure of my leg (and myself) and it must have looked like a baby deer teetering close to disaster with each step. Even Eric's mom, Sandy, said something to the tune of, "Does this remind you of learning to walk?" and of course, I have no recollection of that, but I'm sure I looked quite similar in technique!

So now I am closing in on 3 weeks post-op, and in yesterday's PT I again felt the pains of the forced bending (not sure what degree we got to but I hope it was 120!) and the frustrations of the most simple uses of my leg, which just aren't coming naturally. However, I have been improving every day (some days more than others!) and I'm now being told to work on 'walking'.

I have officially eliminated the use of crutches (even when going on somewhat uneven terrain) and have been walking in a controlled, slow and short-strided manner. I realize this is not how I want my gait to look when I'm done rehab-ing, but as they say... Baby Steps!

When asked to walk by my trainer yesterday, I made a conscious effort to stand upright (instead of look at my feet) and just walk evenly. Drew called me out on it immediately, telling me to speed up (I was going frightfully slow) and to stop trying to 'control' my stride. I followed directions (like the 'perfect princess' I said I'd be in PT) but there was an über-uncomfortable feeling below my kneecap, and at the times when walking requires balancing on the surgical leg at the sensitive position between completely straight and just bent, I felt like Bambi again.

"Let's put you on the treadmill," Drew said. Wha?! Didn't I just prove I'm not even ready to walk 'normally' yet? But sure enough, I climbed on and Drew took the belt speed up to what is probably a normal walking pace... but I looked like a pirate trying to speed-walk on my brand new peg-leg! Oh, and of course there was the return of the aforementioned pain below the kneecap (in the area of the patellar tendon).

This limping pirate look may have brought Drew back to reality, as I just couldn't seem to go with the 'flow' of the treadmill. So, for 5+ minutes I instead stood with my right leg off to the side of the treadmill belt, and at a much slower belt speed, would put down my left foot and 'walk' with my left leg. (I looked like I was skateboarding now) This allowed me to gradually put more weight on the leg as I got more comfortable, and my new task was to work on taking longer strides and stop avoiding straightening my leg all the way before 'pushing off' and lifting the leg up again.

Unfortunately, I do not have a treadmill or stationary bike at my disposal, so I am unable to work on such activities (and range-of-motion exercises) at home. This didn't stop me from going out today (Saturday) in the lovely noon-day sun and walking ~5 blocks. I tried to follow all of the tips and directions that Drew had given me, but in the end I know it still looked 'controlled' if not limping, because I had a friendly passer-by ask, "Are you OK?"

I compare this attempt at walking to learning to golf. There are so many things to remember when you learn to swing a club: head down, legs slightly bent, grip a certain way, twist your body a certain way, backswing so your arms do or don't bend too much... you get the idea. It's just a little overwhelming to try to remember it all and follow it all to a T. Same goes with this whole 'walking' bit. No matter that I've walked plenty in my lifetime, when it no longer comes 'naturally' it's truly an effort to make walking an effortless motion!

So, while I know I still have a ways to go before strangers aren't concerned for my well-being due to my unconventional walking style, I am making improvement, and that is all I can ask for now!

And because pictures are fun:

Day 16 post-op: I 'cleaned up' the incision area before re-taping. Looks good w/ the exception of the zig-zaggy part at the lower kneecap Day 18 post-op: OK, not a flattering pic at all, but for the sake of comparison, this is a pic with legs in the air, slightly bent and completely relaxed. Note the swelling still obvious to the sides of the knee and lower thigh/knee area. Also, major muscle mass difference in the thighs (lower portion of picture) which I hope to reclaim when this is all over!!