Picking Up the Pace [6 Weeks, 1 Day Post-Op]

A lot can happen in a week, and now that the pain in the area of my patellar tendon is nearly gone, I am gaining back confidence in my leg and certain motions I avoided before. Throughout the holiday weekend I was on my feet a lot and also took part in 8+ hours in the car (total) which was probably the toughest part! Weekend activities included hanging out on the dock, but I was wise enough to skip the swim to the water trampoline! Saturday the ladies of the group hit up the putt-putt course... Does that mean I can claim I'm playing sports again? :)

The last few sessions of PT have me improving by leaps and bounds, being able to do exercises I haven't touched since pre-surgery therapy. This includes more challenging balancing exercises, squats, and adding more weight (or resistance) to previous exercises. I am up to 90# on the one-leg press; I am confident I could do more, but am trying to only gradually increase the weight.

Going down stairs is getting much easier, partially due to trust in my leg and the exercises in PT that have helped me break the mindset that my leg will give out if I put the opposite one down on the next stair first. There is still some favoring going on, but it's much improved.

Otherwise, my focus has been to get my walk to normalize, and I know I am capable, but the thing most often holding me back is habit, and maybe the *littlest* tweak of pain in some motions. They said I was not letting my leg extend all the way as I worked through my gait, but I am shaking that habit. Today there was proof of this, since in PT I was put on the treadmill for ~5 minutes and Drew kept bumping it up until I was at a speed-walking pace. At first I was hesitant and favoring my surgical leg. As I eased myself into it and realized the pain that's held me back in the past was not showing itself, I was able to get a normal stride.

My big event of the day was my first attempt at running!! Drew was there to push the 'speed up' button on the treadmill until I finally couldn't speed-walk any more. I'm the first to admit, the run was not pretty (by any means), but I think, again, it was habit and a mental block more than anything, which kept me from evening it out. I didn't run long - perhaps 1 minute, but when I haven't done anything (but putt-putt) since my surgery 6+ weeks ago, 1 minute of running was plenty for me to see where I stand today!

In PT there are 2 other young ladies I see often, I believe 1 week and 4 weeks behind me (same procedure and Doc...). They were both there today, and it's hard for me not to look at them and compare myself in the way of progress. Two of us seem roughly the same, but the girl who's at 2 weeks (versus my 6 weeks) was ALSO on a treadmill today (albeit at a slower pace and a more obvious limp...). But I'm blown away by this girl's progress and have so many questions - What did I do wrong? Why isn't she in as much pain as I was? How is she asking questions like "Can I ride my bike now?" when at 2 weeks that was the last thing I wanted to do? I remind myself that everyone truly has their own schedule. I make sure to congratulate her on her progress, because we all can use words of encouragement as we work down the winding road of recovery!!

6 Week Post-Op Pics

My range of motion (ROM) is "very good" and while I still undergo forced bending in PT, the focus has turned to building the muscle back up via my exercises

Muscle mass is slowly coming back, as the exercises which flexed my quad had hurt my patellar tendon in the past, and now (I hope!) I am past that!

[I also had one of the trainers tell me that if my right thigh wasn't so muscular, I wouldn't have so much work to do to catch up!] :)

The incision is healing nicely, and it seems to be loosening a bit, but I still have a ways to go until the skin move freely over top of my knee.

If It Feels Good, Do It [4th Week Post-Op]

My week 4 anniversary has come and gone (yesterday) and between my woe is me attitude and having an occasion to get out of the house yesterday evening, I am just now posting. However, I'm glad I waited, as I think in some ways, I am feeling progression. Of sorts.

Bear with me, and let me preface by telling you a few parts of my day ...

I realized that as I walked around work I thought of statements I might blog, (similar to how I always think of captions for my photos, for those of you who know me!). Sadly, one statement that came to mind today was, "I am feeling a sense of disappointment [frustration? defeat?] with every step I take." What?! Did I just think that? True- it is hard to ignore my slow pace or pain every few steps, but DEFEAT? C'mon now. Lighten up, Louie.

Then, checking my (personal) email at work (shh!) I received today's dictionary.com 'Word of the Day': Abnegate which, has a second definition of "to relinquish; give up." You might think in my original state of rut, I would have thought, Gee, how fitting! But, I looked at that and asked myself, is that what I'm doing? Of course not. But where did I fall on the scale from frustration to giving up?

At some point my new boss came by and mentioned my knee. He said, "Aren't you some kind of super-jock?" Ha! I may not fall in that category, but there's few sports I won't try. I had to laugh at this rep I didn't realize I had at work...

I eventually left work and headed for PT, and as I hobbled to the front door, I saw a girl being dropped off with immobilizer on her leg and crutches under arm. "When was your surgery?" I asked. "Yesterday..." she said. Ahhh... I remember being there, and the pain just to stand. I felt for her as I held the door and helped her meet her trainer- my good friend, Drew.

A few exercises into my routine, another girl asked me how far along I was, as she was 3 weeks out. "Your scar looks great!!" she told me... Well, that was awfully kind of her!

OK, ok, ok... enough with the stories. I am not sure when, but at some point in the day, negativity started to crumble from my mentality, little by little. I now found myself in my (currently) dreaded position: being asked to 'walk the runway' for the trainer. Despite my hopes, I did not miraculously shake the limp. But this time I was not barked at on how to fix my gait either, which was refreshing. So it came to the next question... Now what?

I confronted Drew about the whisperings of tendonitis from last session. He would not (and I guess, could not) officially tell me I have it, as that is my doctor's call. However, when asked, he said, "You definitely [catch/pause] maybe have tendonitis." Enough said. He said around 10% of people get it (I'll have to research...) and that it's not that anything was done wrong, that it just sometimes happens. I could ask a million questions- did he push me too hard? Did I take my PT at home too seriously? Did I work through pain I thought was normal, but it was over-use? No matter- I now have direction that "if it hurts, don't do it." I'm going to bend that and say, if it feels good, do it! - which I thought a a nicer tone to it!

So for now, that's exactly what I'll do. At PT we continue to do ultrasound in the area of my patellar tendon (which I read, is a way to treat tendonitis) and ice is rubbed directly on my skin near the incision instead of a wrapped ice pack after PT. Other than that, the only way to 'treat' tendonitis is rest, only do the exercises which don't pain that area, and be patient. Isn't it ironic that being patient is the fastest road to recovery? :)

Week 4 Post-Op Pics

When flexing both legs it appears I'm getting some of my left quad back, but looks can be deceiving. While the 'definition' is starting to show a *little*, it's awfully soft in comparison!

The incision is healing nicely, and I am sure to massage it whenever I think to, which will help loosen the skin (as it's still quite stuck in place) and break up scar tissue beneath it.

Update & Remaining Milestones [26 Days Post-Op]

I am the first to admit my last post was pretty whiny. I apologize if it didn't leave a good taste in your mouth, but it is part of the recovery process, so no point in sugar-coating it!

But I can say that I am in a better place now. Yes, I am still limping, but I am feeling improvement (or, lack of pain I was feeling before) and am working more on balancing on my surgical leg while it is straightened to gain confidence in my leg as it teeters on the edge of locking/straightening or being just slightly bent. Once I feel good there, I think it will really improve my walking.

While I am physically improving, I am also grateful for the support of others who have either been through (or, will be going through!) this type of procedure, as well as those around me who continue to care about my well-being and encourage me to keep at it! I'm sure I'm not the first person to have moments of frustration and weakness in my recovery, so all I can say to those of you who might experience the same thing -- it will get better! I just hope I can remember my own advice as I continue on!

A few points of interest-

• I am no longer on a steady diet of pain medication, as of ~3 weeks post-op. I still pop something before heading to PT, but otherwise think keeping Motrin handy should be enough to curb most discomfort.
• I have no pain in standing for longer periods of time. (Immediately after surgery, this was what caused the MOST pain in normal day-to-day!)
• I will be returning to work tomorrow (mainly sitting at a desk all day) and while I was capable of returning a week ago, due to a temporary lay-off (don't worry, it's just a week here and there!) my start date was pushed back. I was grateful for the extra week of being able to stay home and focus on recovery.
• The most pain I have is in the region of my patellar tendon. Mostly it's caused by the simple motion of straightening the leg from bent, but without any support (As in, if sitting with legs dangling off a chair, trying to lift my foot so leg is straightened out in front of me). Similar to pain felt when trying to do 'straight leg raises' while lying on my back. [Note: I am not sure if this pain is because my graft was taken from this area, or if this occurs in all ACL reconstructions?? I assume the former...]

My upcoming milestones (in no particular order) include:

• Getting my bend to ~135° (considered 'normal' range of motion)
• Walking and climbing stairs w/o favoring my surgical leg
• Going down stairs w/o having to put both my feet on one step before descending the next stair
• As mentioned, focus on balancing on my surgical leg while it's straightened
• Eventually be able to balance on surgical leg w/leg straightened and remain balanced as I work into a slight bend
• Breaking up scar tissue in the area of the incision to allow the skin to move freely over my knee cap
• Continue to ice, elevate and massage around knee to reduce swelling and break up scar tissue

Perhaps returning to work will bring me some new challenges (I am thinking sitting in one spot for a bulk of time will end up with a lot of fidgeting so my leg doesn't stiffen up too badly). Either way I am looking forward to a change of pace and starting my return to a 'normal' lifestyle!

And, some photos of my progress. Enjoy!

I can now bend my knee to this angle somewhat (I say that lightly...) comfortably:

Swelling still there, but my knee is slowly showing shape again:
The scar is healing up nicely, though the skin does not move freely over the kneecap yet. I am massaging daily to break up scar tissue:
And how could I forget?! ... Happy Mother's Day!!